被名校录取的文书长啥样？

优秀的文书有哪些特质？

申请美国大学，尤其是TOP院校申请，录取率不到10%，很多学生不知道为什么有人会被录取，有人却被拒之门外。除了硬性条件，文书是最重要的一个“软实力展现”。

两篇优秀文书案例：   

文书一： 作者：Zoya Garg New York — Bronx High School of Science My mom finds a baffling delight from drinking from glass, hotel-grade water dispensers. Even when three-day-old lemon rinds float in stale water, drinking from the dispenser remains luxurious. Last year for her birthday, I saved enough to buy a water dispenser for our kitchen counter. However, instead of water, I filled it with handwritten notes encouraging her to chase her dreams of a career.（立意鲜明，取材于生活）
As I grew older, I noticed that my mom yearned to pursue her passions and to make her own money. She spent years as a stay-at-home mom and limited our household chores as much as she could, taking the burden upon herself so that my brothers and I could focus on our education. However, I could tell from her curiosity of and attitudes toward working women that she envied their financial freedom and the self-esteem that must come with it.（善于观察生活，并进行总结） When I asked her about working again, she would tell me to focus on achieving the American dream that I knew she had once dreamed for herself.
For years, I watched her effortlessly light up conversations with both strangers and family. Her empathy and ability to understand the needs, wants and struggles of a diverse group of people empowered her to reach the hearts of every person at a dinner table, even when the story itself did not apply to them at all. She could make anyone laugh, and I wanted her to be paid for it. “Mom, have you ever thought about being a stand-up comedian?”
She laughed at the idea, but then she started wondering aloud about what she would joke about and how comedy shows were booked. As she began dreaming of a comedy career, the reality of her current life as a stay-at-home mom sank in. She began to cry and told me it was too late for her. I could not bear to watch her struggle between ambition and doubt.
Her birthday was coming up. Although I had already bought her a present, I realized what I actually wanted to give her was the strength to finally put herself first and to take a chance. I placed little notes of encouragement inside the water dispenser. I asked my family and her closest friends to do the same. These friends told her other friends, and eventually I had grown a network of supporters who emailed me their admiration for my mom. From these emails, I hand wrote 146 notes, crediting all of these supporters that also believed in my mom. Some provided me with sentences, others with five-paragraph-long essays. Yet, each note was an iteration of the same sentiment: “You are hilarious, full of life, and ready to take on the stage.”
On the day of her birthday, my mom unwrapped my oddly shaped present and saw the water dispenser I bought her. She was not surprised, as she had hinted at it for many years. But then as she kept unwrapping, she saw that inside the dispenser there were these little notes that filled the whole thing. As she kept picking out and reading the notes, I could tell she was starting to believe what they said. She started to weep with her hands full of notes. She could not believe the support was real, that everyone knew she had a special gift and believed in her.（适当且细腻的描绘，容易让招生官产生共情）
Within two months, my mom performed her first set in a New York comedy club. Within a year, my mom booked a monthly headlining show at the nation’s premier comedy club.
I am not sure what happened to the water dispenser. But I have read the notes with my mom countless times. They are framed and line the walls of her new office space that she rented with the profits she made from working as a professional comedian. For many parents, their children’s careers are their greatest accomplishment, but for me my mom’s is mine.
翻译： 我妈妈发现从酒店级的玻璃饮水机上喝水有一种莫名其妙的快乐。即使是三天前的柠檬皮漂浮在陈旧的水中，用饮水机喝水仍然很奢侈。去年她生日时，我攒够了钱，为我们的厨房柜台买了一台饮水机。然而，我在里面装的不是水，而是手写的纸条，鼓励她追逐自己的职业梦想。
随着我年龄的增长，我注意到我妈妈渴望追求她的激情，渴望自己赚钱。她花了好几年时间做家庭主妇，尽可能地限制我们的家务，把负担压在自己身上，以便我和我的兄弟可以专注于我们的学业。然而，我可以从她对职业妇女的好奇心和态度中看出，她羡慕她们的财务自由和随之而来的自尊。当我问她关于再次工作的问题时，她会告诉我专注于实现美国梦，我知道她曾经这样梦想过。
多年来，我看到她毫不费力地点燃了与陌生人和家人的谈话。她的同情心和理解不同人群的需求、愿望和困难的能力使她能够触及餐桌上每个人的心灵。她能让任何人发笑，而我希望她能因此得到报酬。"妈妈，你有没有想过做一名脱口秀演员？"
她一听就笑了，但随后她开始大声想知道她会在舞台上开什么玩笑，以及喜剧节目是如何展开的。当她开始梦想着喜剧生涯时，她目前作为家庭主妇的生活的现实也随之沉沦。她开始哭泣，告诉我对她来说已经太晚了。我不忍心看着她在野心和怀疑之间挣扎。
她的生日快到了。虽然我已经给她买了礼物，但我意识到我实际上想给她的是最终把自己放在第一位并抓住机会的力量。我在饮水机内放置了鼓励的小纸条。我要求我的家人和她最亲密的朋友也这样做。这些朋友告诉了她的其他朋友，最终我建立了一个支持者网络，他们通过电子邮件向我表达了对我母亲的钦佩。从这些电子邮件中，我手写了146份小纸条，归功于所有这些同样相信我妈妈的支持者。有些人向我提供了一些句子，有些人提供了长达五段的文章。然而，每张纸条都是同一种情感的迭加。"你很搞笑，充满生机，已经准备好登上舞台了"。
在她生日的那天，我妈妈拆开了我形状古怪的礼物，看到了我给她买的饮水机。她并不感到惊讶，因为她已经暗示了很多年了。但是，当她继续拆开包装时，她看到饮水机里面有这些小纸条，填满了整个东西。当她不断挑出并阅读这些纸条时，我可以看出她开始相信这些纸条所说的内容。她开始流泪，手里拿满了纸条。她不相信这些支持是真的，不相信每个人都知道她有特殊的天赋并相信她。
两个月内，我妈妈在纽约一家喜剧俱乐部表演了她的第一场演出。一年之内，我妈妈在全国首屈一指的喜剧俱乐部订下了每月一次的演出。
我不清楚饮水机发生了什么。但我已经和我妈妈一起读了无数次这些笔记。它们被裱起来，在她的新办公场所的墙上挂着，那是她用做职业喜剧演员的利润租来的。对许多父母来说，他们孩子的事业是他们最大的成就，但对我来说，我妈妈的事业就是我的。
亮 点内容 Excellent Parts

1. 选材于生活。 比起跌宕起伏的剧情，大跌眼镜的反转，取材于生活，会因为足够真实而让招生官留下好的印象。
2. 擅用生活中的“小装置”，赋予其一定意义和价值，从而产生美好的化学反应。 “饮水机”中放入鼓舞人心的小纸条，看似简单的做法却饱含作为孩子对母亲的一片心意，且很好地照顾到母亲的自尊心，非常细腻真挚的情感表达。
3. 强调过程而非结果。 本文通篇以母亲的感受为串联，体现的是孩子帮助母亲找回梦想的过程。很好地体现学生本人的影响力，共情力，创新力，情感输出强烈，注重的是过程而非结果。